Monday, March 31, 2008

Good things come to those who wait?......

The other day I saw a guy I really liked a few months ago. I'll admit there were a few reasons why we never got together, one of them being that we both wanted different things out of a relationship. He is a little younger than I am and I've never even liked much less dated a younger guy before, mostly because I don't usually have anything in common with them. But this guy was different. He is so sweet, very thoughtful, and so funny too. Eventually I told him I thought it was a better idea for him to date a girl his age.

It's been roughly 8 months since that conversation, he's got a girlfriend he's crazy about and I'm happy for him, but I also have to admit I'm a little envious of her because he's such a great guy. But I know deep down we were not right for each other. But the coolest thing about it was that he showed me there are still good guys out there, even if they are hard to find.

It's so true good things come to those who wait.... Now if only I could get that patience thing down. ; )

Laters...
~*~Lo~*~

Saturday, March 29, 2008

From Pesemist to Optimist?....

I'm moving to another apartment in a few weeks, which means: packing, something I hate almost as much as moving it self.

In packing my books and old pictures I started thinking back to all of the things I've gone through while living in my room that have in one way or another shaped who I am. Made me wonder When relationships end, romantic relationships or friendships. and you have no choice but to pack your things and move on: Does it really make you stronger?

Personally I'm on the fence on that one. I used to hate change because the possibility of losing something or someone I loved just broke my heart. Now I try to look at it in a different way, more like: Change can be positive, it can bring wonderful people and experiences into your life that you never imagined.

Who knows maybe I'm turning into an optimist.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Closure, aha! moments, and no regrets!...

Closure is a very funny thing to me. Just when you think you have it and all is well with the world you are slapped in the face with the reality that you apparently didn’t get as much closure after the fact as you thought. Underestimating one's emotions has proven to be a very big pain in the ass, at least for me. It's like that pesky stress rash I get on my hand when I'm totally freaking out about a test or something that has be under an enormous amount of tension. Then suddenly... you wake up and realize the only reason you don't have the closure you need is because a part of you is holding on to the past. Real bitch isn't it?

It isn't until wasn't until I finally got it through my head that I'm holding on to something that doesn't exist, more like the memory of something that once did. But now it's OVER and just like that...Aha!!... it hits me. I don’t need to hold on to it anymore, why? because it's toxic to hold on to something fictional. Don't you just love having those moments?!! This growing up thing isn't nearly easy like I thought when I used to eavesdrop on my families conversations when I was little. I thought being an adult would make something... magical happen. If I had a chance to go back and grow up again, I'd take my time and slow down. The awful thing about growing up too quickly is that you tend to not think things through as much as you probably should, thus regret things later.
So here's to closure, aha! moments, and no regrets!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Choices, burnt toast and spilled milk...

In the last couple of months I've been questioning what has been my passion for most of my life simply because of one comment. Until thanks to a little reminder I decided to fight back. I'm not going to let someone's opinion change my entire life's direction because of burnt toast and spilled milk. Let me explain that; someone can tell you something that is hurtful to you because THEY are just having a bad day, whether it's because of they burnt their toasts or spilled their milk. It's not fair but life isn't always fair. That’s where our choices come into play.

The past is something we all look back on with ether fondness or regret, is it normal to have regrets at such a young age? Sometimes I think I'm not old enough to have regrets but then again I may be 21 but I feel like I'm 40. It seems like so much has happened in my short life, more like the last few years that I desperately wish I could change. Some of it for my own selfish reasons and others because I know I hurt some when I didn't mean to. Making wrongs right, is that selfish or unselfish?

A lot of times it isn't about choosing what's right or wrong it's about what needs to be done, as much as it may hurt someone in the end. In my mind I know walking away was right but in my heart I still wonder, did I make the right choice? I so wish I was more carefree like someone of my friends but I can't pretend to be what I'm not, I like knowing where I'm going and what's happening next. When I don't I tend to panic, even if in my own mind.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Labels and sweet connections....

How do you find a label for something that helped shape the person you are (or are becoming) when it's more than a friendship and less than love? For way too long I've been trying to figure the answer to this. We had intimacy, not the kind you have when you're laying in bed after some mind blowing sex. The kind of intimacy you have when you both know you're souls connect through something other than love or sex. Then you come to a crossroads and need to make a choice for the better or for the worst, if you really don't want to walk away from something/someone but know in your mind you have to in order to grow or fulfill your life's purpose is it still worth regretting

I had such a person in my life with whom I shared the most amazing connection with but the real doozy was I'm still not sure what we were. I miss the bond we shared, long conversations about nothing and yet everything at the same time. How is it that I'm trying to find a label for something I can't quite comprehend myself? I'm not even sure I'm looking for an answer I think I'm just remembering one of the sweetest connections I've ever had.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

A New Earth.....

For the last two weeks I've been doing this online class Oprah hosts along with the author of A New Earth: Awakening to your life's purpose. It's an incredibly eye opening book to say the least. I have a love affair going on with books, I can't get enough of them and enjoy them down to the last page. I've been trying to incorporate the things I've been learning while reading the book. Though I have to admit the change is gradual as you're changing an entire life's way of thinking and living. This book teaches you that you are a human being, a lot of times we focus on the human part. What everyone else sees or what we want everyone else to see and we tend to forget the being part of it. I'm learning to life in the moment, experience things I've been doing my entire life but really experiencing them for the firs time now at twenty-one. It truly feels like a new day, a new life, a fresh beginning.
If you want to buy this book or start the free online class you'll have to join the site but that is also free!



Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Closure and a clear mind....

Closure is in my opinion a very complicated little bitch, at least for me. There have been when I wanted to be over something or someone and I think I sort of convinced myself that I in fact had closure. But then something happens that makes whatever it is that you're in denial about smack you right in the face and knock you down on your ass. Life has a nasty little habit of doing that, doesn't it?

For years my grandmother tell me that a clutter free house (or in my case room) is a clutter free mind. I always thought she told me that because she just wanted her way in having my room clean but now I'm starting to see that she's right. I do feel like I'm thinking more clearly than I usually do. There are so many changes happening in my life right now that I really just want to be ready for them.

Funny how something so simple can change so much. I am also working on my chronic tardiness. I'm usually late but now I'm scheduling everything, I have to if I'm ever going to get anything done.

If you want to do a link exchange send your link to LoLuv25@gmail.com

On another note: I am so crazy about Music it's one of my greatest passions, With that said I wanted to share one of my favorite songs by Josh Groban February Song

Monday, March 3, 2008

Teen Sex, Abstinence, and Parents.....

Don't you think it's rather odd that we live in a world where sex is constantly shoved down out eyeballs all day everyday, but we still have people questioning sex ed in schools? I was watching the Dr. Phill show was about teens and sex. It was a major debate which included Reverend T.D. Jakes and several other people including teens some who were pro-abstinence and other's pro-sex-ed. Not being a teenager for now on 2 years I still have a strong opinion about this. While I do agree that teens should be well informed about sex, how to protect yourself and abstinence. I also think that parents aren't being as vigilant or involved in their children's lives as they should be.

Personally I have a great relationship with my mom and I decided to have sex at 17 I also protected myself not only because she had discussed all of this before hand but because I had enough sense to inform myself. We need to have our parents get over their issues with sex and start doing their freaking jobs. It's only complicated because they're making it that way.
In my opinion we're going to keep having problems with teen sex, teen pregnancies, and this huge outbreak of STD's until parents take the bull by the horns and start doing their jobs as parents.
Until next time
XOXOXO