It's time to get to work......

I’m nervous about starting my second year in college and it’s freaking me out. I’m taking on 19 credits and it’s not so much the credits that make me nervous it’s that I’m anxious about getting better and reaching the next level vocally. I still feel incredibly insecure in my voice and music theory studies. I just hate that feeling, so out of control that it really just drives me nuts! I want to be good, now. This I know is not going to happen overnight, it will take time and I just have to take time. I’ve realized that given the choice I’ve made in career it will require a lot of sacrifice, still I know it will be worth it. I can see this all happening right before my eyes, the time that music takes is well spent but absolutely overwhelming.

This semester I’m going to take Acting, a course I wanted to take this passed spring but couldn’t because I simply didn’t have the time and now the story isn’t much different but I want to connect with my pieces more easily and to understand drama more, simply by experiencing it from a different perspective. I wish I had the time and energy to spend in a practice room but I haven’t, now I’ve decided to make the time. I want to be the best, I want to reach the next level musically and to achieve this I have to make more sacrifices. Getting up early, staying up late and focusing on the tasks at hand, I can’t spend time on foolish things anymore.

Because it’s time to get to work, now more than ever.

Sore Throat, uneventful evenings...

It’s Saturday afternoon and I am feeling beyond crappy. My throat hurts quite a lot, I think I overdid it singing this passed week. I had three performances Monday through Wednesday and while only two of those were solo performances I still feel beyond drained. I am sleepy and at the same time so… irritated with myself. I was surprised to have my grandmother and uncle come to my recital and actually compliment my performance and voice. David even said I reminded him of queen of the night which is a huge compliment coming from him. I aspire to become an incredible performer like Diana Damrau, her passion and connection to her characters really do inspire me.

I could not sing a thing right now even if you asked me to, that is how sore and scratchy my throat is right now. Good thing is I don’t have Juries for another couple of weeks. Tonight I have the oh so exciting plans of watching Lipstick Jungle online.

Happy Singing to all!

Lorey

Check out the frames

So here’s the deal I have to wear my glasses, I hate that it makes me look like a middle schooler. Grrr… I don’t want to wear them but I need to because my eyes get so tired after reading for a while that it totally ruins my study time.

Living Courageously….

I think next semester I’ll take a writing course, I love reading the words of amazing female writers like Jane Austin, Charlotte Bronte and any woman who dared to think outside the confines of the world she lived in. When I think of how women of limited means were forced to live it makes me angry and terribly sad. I know Jane Austin remained single, and she lived through her art and seemed entirely happy with that arrangement. I don’t see why I would be any different.

I don’t want to marry, not anymore. I used to dream of having the perfect life, but now I understand that doesn’t exist. All I have to depend on is myself nothing is guaranteed. In addition to that; life is too short and for me that means there is no time to waste.

Kisses

     Love Lorey

Out of balance, out of whack…..

I feel so out of balance that I can’t even put it into words; I have been so focused on school and assignments that I haven’t given myself any time to read for fun, to exercise, do yoga or even practice meditation. I feel constantly drained, regardless of how much sleep I get I never feel rested, the other day I slept almost 12 hours straight and still I feel more and more on edge, I am constantly stressed anxious and more than that I keep getting bad headaches which leads me to take pills to get rid of it. I am so frustrated with myself that I don’t even know what to do anymore. I wish I could take yoga, I miss it so much, and I miss how relaxed I felt afterward. I’m going to put balance back in my life and that is all there is to it. I’m making a schedule for myself that I will probably have to get used to but I will thank myself for it in the end. Even if it means less time to aimlessly wonder through the channels on TV it will be a small sacrifice. Balance is what I need and damn it I’m going to get it.

Out of balance, out of whack…..

I feel so out of balance that I can’t even put it into words; I have been so focused on school and assignments that I haven’t given myself any time to read for fun, to exercise, do yoga or even practice meditation. I feel constantly drained, regardless of how much sleep I get I never feel rested, the other day I slept almost 12 hours straight and still I feel more and more on edge, I am constantly stressed anxious and more than that I keep getting bad headaches which leads me to take pills to get rid of it. I am so frustrated with myself that I don’t even know what to do anymore. I wish I could take yoga, I miss it so much, and I miss how relaxed I felt afterward. I’m going to put balance back in my life and that is all there is to it. I’m making a schedule for myself that I will probably have to get used to but I will thank myself for it in the end. Even if it means less time to aimlessly wonder through the channels on TV it will be a small sacrifice. Balance is what I need and damn it I’m going to get it.

No more sidelines?….

I’ve said many times that I’m interested or ready to date, when really I’ve taken every opportunity to run away from it. I was asked out last semester and said no, although I know that was the right choice because he wasn’t my type in addition to the whole thing just felling totally wrong I know that it was some progress, this time it’s going to be different I’m fully open to trial and error. I have a feeling something might happen soon, I’m not sure how but I’m not going to run if it feels right. I want a connection which is a really good starting point, and from there I’ll just take it one step at a time. I will take more risks this year this is my resolution, who knows maybe I’ll go rock climbing, I’ve always wanted to do it but I’ve never had the courage to do it. I want to live my life not just stand on the sidelines and watch everyone else live life.