Jury!!!…..

I have jury coming up next Thursday which is the final for all music majors. You have to perform each piece you’ve been working on in the current semester. I’m so nervous, apparently it’s not really a big deal or so Ms. D says, she’s my voice teacher. I’m still nervous because I have to sing in front of the entire vocal faculty, I’m sure it will be the longest 10 minutes of my life. My Italian piece is coming along better than my English piece, which I find odd. Personally I am not so sure this song is a great song for me but whatever. Love has eyes is in and so is Gail Sole Dal Gange I’m so nervous! I hear it’s worse at other music colleges. I’m just going to walk into that room and sing my heart out, regardless of how scary it is, I have to face and get over my fears now. Like they say; there’s no time like the present.

Almost there!….

I can’t believe thanksgiving break is on Tuesday! I’m so excited about having some time off, I can’t wait to sleep until I feel like getting up or read the books I have saved for the break. I will be reading The Inner Voice by Renee Fleming and Basics of Vocal Pedagogy by Clifton Ware. I have so much going on in my life that I haven’t had time to read non school books, but I certainly have missed it.

This thanksgiving break I will be studying my musicianship textbook so when I come back from break I’ll be able to pass the test. I’m so excited about next semester because I have all of these things wonderful classes that I honestly can’t wait to take.

Well dear readers, I must be off. I need to see if the Practice rooms in the Music building are open.

XOXO

Off to the Opera…

I’m off to the opera tonight and I am in an amazingly good mood today, I think it’s the weather; it’s just so beautiful outside. I love this time of year, when it’s so close to Christmas and the weather has gotten cooler. I feel so relaxed, yet, I know that I have a lot going on in my life that causes my stress level to increase I’m ok for now.

Last night I chatted with Andrew for a while again last night, I can’t believe I’d forgotten how much I loved talking with him. I’m having a good time getting to know him again. I realized last night I haven’t seen him since my grandparents wedding, which is like six years! That’s so wrong.

Anyway I need to get going now; I have some things I want to get out of the way before my voice lesson.

XOXO

I hate this class!!!!….

I’m sure all off my fellow college students out there know what it’s like to take some classes that annoy the shit out of you. I know I love most of my classes because I’m ether learning something useful or its music related which to me is useful. I am taking a “Student Success” class right now that in my opinion is more work than it’s worth. I just found out this morning that I have an “Exploration Paper” due next Wednesday regarding my education, this class is the biggest pain in the ass, I really don’t want to do any of this shit but I need the grade for my GPA and I need it because it’s a prerequisite, I hate that word and I hate this class. The teacher is pretty cool but the book is ridicules, I have more shit from this class than I know what to do with. It’s only a prerequisite because I didn’t get two points more on my placement test; otherwise I would not be in this mess.

Midterm Freak Out!…..

I have a sight singing test on Tuesday morning after my Musicianship class and I’m feeling like an idiot again. I know I can make sense of all these things if I just relax and focus, I did it this afternoon when I was re-reading the chapter on scales. I just need to get a grip on myself, I don’t know why I’m freaking out this much now when the semester is almost over and I’m passing the class. I am going to make tonight a spa night; I’m going to use my organic bath salt, body butter and lotion to relax then I’m going to hit the books once again.

I know I can do this, I am not going to give up when I’m this close to finishing the semester and getting.

Fighting with myself…..

Tonight I’m off to a master class to watch a friend perform, it’s also an audition. Last night as we talked about it I realized I envied him, I know I haven’t practiced much since the semester begun and I feel really stupid because of it, what is wrong with me? So what if I’m tired and have a ton of work to do? I should be working my ass off to improve. I’ve been given an amazing chance to study music and receive training from wonderful teachers, why am I not taking advantage of that?

Other than laziness I can’t think of another reason, this is what I want and I can’t just lie down and die, I can’t just give it up because… I’m tired, it’s foolish and ridicules.

What really matters…..

Right now I know I should be studying but instead I’m focusing on a song by Sara Bareilles named Fairytale, I love the message the song has, personally I didn’t realize until a few years ago that I realized life was not, nor would it ever be a fairytale. Prince charming doesn’t exist; there is no white knight that will solve all your problems. The only one who can take you out of the mess that you’ve made of your life is you with God’s help. There has to be a responsibility that women take for their lives, I decided not long ago I was not going to do what everyone else wanted me to do with my life, this is who I am, how I choose to be and damn it if I feel like wearing makeup I will, if I don’t fuck it! Life doesn’t end, the world won’t stop spinning and my skin will not break out because of the lack of makeup.

I’ve learned not to make mountains out of stupid little molehills, life is a precious gift; one that goes by too quickly and it’s too important to spend worrying about stupid things like finding the perfect person or whether or not you’re in the cool group. It’s not worth the time to worry about meaningless things that in the end won’t matter. I would be thrilled to meet the right person for me, but I’m not going to lose my mind if I don’t. If God sees fit for me to find the man he’s created for me, great. Let’s do it, otherwise I really don’t see the point in wasting my time worrying if tom, dick, or harry think I’m hot.