Living Courageously….

I think next semester I’ll take a writing course, I love reading the words of amazing female writers like Jane Austin, Charlotte Bronte and any woman who dared to think outside the confines of the world she lived in. When I think of how women of limited means were forced to live it makes me angry and terribly sad. I know Jane Austin remained single, and she lived through her art and seemed entirely happy with that arrangement. I don’t see why I would be any different.

I don’t want to marry, not anymore. I used to dream of having the perfect life, but now I understand that doesn’t exist. All I have to depend on is myself nothing is guaranteed. In addition to that; life is too short and for me that means there is no time to waste.

Kisses

     Love Lorey

Out of balance, out of whack…..

I feel so out of balance that I can’t even put it into words; I have been so focused on school and assignments that I haven’t given myself any time to read for fun, to exercise, do yoga or even practice meditation. I feel constantly drained, regardless of how much sleep I get I never feel rested, the other day I slept almost 12 hours straight and still I feel more and more on edge, I am constantly stressed anxious and more than that I keep getting bad headaches which leads me to take pills to get rid of it. I am so frustrated with myself that I don’t even know what to do anymore. I wish I could take yoga, I miss it so much, and I miss how relaxed I felt afterward. I’m going to put balance back in my life and that is all there is to it. I’m making a schedule for myself that I will probably have to get used to but I will thank myself for it in the end. Even if it means less time to aimlessly wonder through the channels on TV it will be a small sacrifice. Balance is what I need and damn it I’m going to get it.

Out of balance, out of whack…..

I feel so out of balance that I can’t even put it into words; I have been so focused on school and assignments that I haven’t given myself any time to read for fun, to exercise, do yoga or even practice meditation. I feel constantly drained, regardless of how much sleep I get I never feel rested, the other day I slept almost 12 hours straight and still I feel more and more on edge, I am constantly stressed anxious and more than that I keep getting bad headaches which leads me to take pills to get rid of it. I am so frustrated with myself that I don’t even know what to do anymore. I wish I could take yoga, I miss it so much, and I miss how relaxed I felt afterward. I’m going to put balance back in my life and that is all there is to it. I’m making a schedule for myself that I will probably have to get used to but I will thank myself for it in the end. Even if it means less time to aimlessly wonder through the channels on TV it will be a small sacrifice. Balance is what I need and damn it I’m going to get it.

No more sidelines?….

I’ve said many times that I’m interested or ready to date, when really I’ve taken every opportunity to run away from it. I was asked out last semester and said no, although I know that was the right choice because he wasn’t my type in addition to the whole thing just felling totally wrong I know that it was some progress, this time it’s going to be different I’m fully open to trial and error. I have a feeling something might happen soon, I’m not sure how but I’m not going to run if it feels right. I want a connection which is a really good starting point, and from there I’ll just take it one step at a time. I will take more risks this year this is my resolution, who knows maybe I’ll go rock climbing, I’ve always wanted to do it but I’ve never had the courage to do it. I want to live my life not just stand on the sidelines and watch everyone else live life.

Yay 2009!!!……

Here I am another year older and hopefully wiser; I can’t believe I’m 22 or that it’s 2009! There’s so much that happened in 2008 that I wish I had taken more time to appreciate the moment fully. I was blessed to have my graduation ceremony for high school/GED, I started college, successfully completed my first semester with quite a descent GPA for my first semester 3.25, I made some amazing friends, learned more things than I expected to learn about music, life, love, sex, relationships, friendships, family, art, opera, theater, and myself.

I know what I’m about to say is going to sound terribly corny and silly but, here it goes: I made a resolution for 2008 that I am very proud to repot I actually kept- I swore I’d take chances, the inspiration for that resolution is Celine Dion’s Taking Chances CD and I am so happy I did because it made me a better person, a better friend, and taught me a lot about life. In one semester my life changed more than I could have expected to, I’m finally studying what I love Music, I got a talent scholarship to study music and even more shocking to me- I successfully performed before an audience and not only loved it but managed to overcome my performance anxiety. I am amazed at how God has truly showed me how powerful he is, I now understand that he really is in control. For many reasons over the last few years my faith was slowly dying but I know how powerful it is to know there’s someone on my side, going to school with me every day and guiding each step I take. Even though I feel small sometimes in that big school I know I am on the track that will get me to where I want to go.

Happy New Year everyone!!!!

XOXO

WOW first post of 2009….

Here I am another year older and hopefully wiser; I can’t believe I’m 22 or that it’s 2009! There’s so much that happened in 2008 that I wish I had taken more time to appreciate the moment fully. I was blessed to have my graduation ceremony for high school/GED, I started college, successfully completed my first semester with quite a descent GPA for my first semester 3.25, I made some amazing friends, learned more things than I expected to learn about music, life, love, sex, relationships, friendships, family, art, opera, theater, and myself.

I know what I’m about to say is going to sound terribly corny and silly but, here it goes: I made a resolution for 2008 that I am very proud to repot I actually kept- I swore I’d take chances, the inspiration for that resolution is Celine Dion’s Taking Chances CD and I am so happy I did because it made me a better person, a better friend, and taught me a lot about life. In one semester my life changed more than I could have expected to, I’m finally studying what I love Music, I got a talent scholarship to study music and even more shocking to me- I successfully performed before an audience and not only loved it but managed to overcome my performance anxiety. I am amazed at how God has truly showed me how powerful he is, I now understand that he really is in control. For many reasons over the last few years my faith was slowly dying but I know how powerful it is to know there’s someone on my side, going to school with me every day and guiding each step I take. Even though I feel small sometimes in that big school I know I am on the track that will get me to where I want to go.

Happy New Year everyone!!!!

XOXO

Voice jury verdict, or lack there of….

I made it through Voice Jury, I managed to get through my time slot without passing out or having a melt down and running out of the room. I sang Love has Eyes first which was originally my second song, and I’m very glad I did because half way through Gail Sole Dal Gange I forgot which part of the second verse went first. I know the dumbest thing ever, I know the lyrics but I couldn’t remember which part of it went first, it’s like they all jumbled up in my head.

Either way my voice teacher said she should have my grade by Monday, I’m slightly nervous to find out what it is, it’s probably a C I felt like a total idiot. Before my royal screw-up I was not doing that bad, the judges were smiling but I’m not sure if that was because I was sounding good or because they were trying to make me feel comfortable. I really don’t know, all I can do now is wait.