Change is a part of evolution....

This passed Sunday I had the confrontation of my life. I wont go into specifics because the details really are not that important. All I will say about it is that I was able to make it through without giving into my ego. It felt like everything I learned the passed few months with A New Earth and the webcast had just fallen into place within me. I didn't even feel like I was thinking, I didn't loose control. In fact the other person did, all because his ego and pain-body took over. While I know things will never go back to the way they were, I'm ok with that. I feel like I've grown as a person and I'm very satisfied with the recent changes in my life.

I have no idea what's next but I'm open to it.

While reading A New Earth I've learned so much about myself and the people around me. I'm also grateful for the opportunity I've had while taking these classes on Oprah.com. There's just something I'm having trouble with. The Pain-body, getting rid of it is easier said than done. I'm now on Chapter 7 (yes, I know very behind in the book.) but I still feel like I'm missing something, I think I'm going to go back to Chapter 3 and re-read it from there. I think that maybe where I started to lose my concentration.

On another note: Yesterday at the job agency (which I hated) I took a typing test and found out I type 38 words per minute with a 99% accuracy. That’s more than anyone I know. I'm so thrilled!

Today I'm going to a job agency for an interview and hopefully get a job in the next few days. I have to get this negativity out of my head because I'm dreading it and I don't know why exactly, maybe fear of the unknown? I just really want to feel good about it, how do you force yourself to be present and not resist it? this is a good thing they specialize in permanent placement, they want to get you a job you'll be happy with.

I'm going to do some meditating, maybe that will help.

Laters

XOXOXO

Endless 'To Do' List....

The last few days I felt kind of down because I felt a pretty much like an idiot when I got it through my thick skull that I couldn't take this hostess job for a second longer. I thought it was going to be easier than it was, can you say wrong?
So I was feeling like a total spazz for not being able to cut it. Now Tuesday monring I have an interview for this company downtown and I can't wait! (Yes, it's the one I mentioned in my previous post.)

I can't believe the New Earth classes on Oprah.com are almost over, I have to catch up on like four weeks of the book. I've totally gotten distracted by everything that's been happening the job at Universal Studios that I sucked at, the ACT test and oh yeah I'll have to retake that because I totally fucked it up. Aside from that I've been working on my room because I'm no where near packed, which is one of the reasons why we're staying in this apartment another month. Why is moving so freaking complicated!

Anyways tonight I'm sitting here listening to Melissa Etheridge thinking about all the changes that have been happening in my life these passed few months. It's not that I'm not happy about it, it's simply that I feel like a total dork for not catching up to things faster. Ether way I'm alright, better than alright I'm content... at least for the time being.

Now if only I could get this college to be a thing checked on my To Do list, I'd be a little less stressed. but I'm trying to put into practice the New Earth Principles. I'll live is what I'm trying to say...

Laters
XOXOXO

Hostess no more....

So working as a hostess was not even close to what I was expecting and after two days I quit. It was way too much for me and I just couldn't take it. So I'm going back to reception jobs, I applied for some and this one that starts at $10.00 full time.

On another note: I don't know what is wrong but I have like no freaking desire to work on my music, it's like I have no passion. Somewhere along the line I lost my way. It used to be all about the music, I couldn't wait to practice and now I pretty much dread it. But I'm making it change one way or another, I realized I'm not present when I practice. I sing just for the hell of it because I feel like I have to. That's not how I should be approaching something that used to give me so much joy. I think I have let the stresses and distractions of my life derail me from the path I was on, I need to make little goals for myself. Kind of like stepping stones and take it one step at a time.


Well I'm off...
XOXOXOXO