Closure, aha! moments, and no regrets!...

Closure is a very funny thing to me. Just when you think you have it and all is well with the world you are slapped in the face with the reality that you apparently didn’t get as much closure after the fact as you thought. Underestimating one's emotions has proven to be a very big pain in the ass, at least for me. It's like that pesky stress rash I get on my hand when I'm totally freaking out about a test or something that has be under an enormous amount of tension. Then suddenly... you wake up and realize the only reason you don't have the closure you need is because a part of you is holding on to the past. Real bitch isn't it?

It isn't until wasn't until I finally got it through my head that I'm holding on to something that doesn't exist, more like the memory of something that once did. But now it's OVER and just like that...Aha!!... it hits me. I don’t need to hold on to it anymore, why? because it's toxic to hold on to something fictional. Don't you just love having those moments?!! This growing up thing isn't nearly easy like I thought when I used to eavesdrop on my families conversations when I was little. I thought being an adult would make something... magical happen. If I had a chance to go back and grow up again, I'd take my time and slow down. The awful thing about growing up too quickly is that you tend to not think things through as much as you probably should, thus regret things later.
So here's to closure, aha! moments, and no regrets!

Labels and sweet connections....

How do you find a label for something that helped shape the person you are (or are becoming) when it's more than a friendship and less than love? For way too long I've been trying to figure the answer to this. We had intimacy, not the kind you have when you're laying in bed after some mind blowing sex. The kind of intimacy you have when you both know you're souls connect through something other than love or sex. Then you come to a crossroads and need to make a choice for the better or for the worst, if you really don't want to walk away from something/someone but know in your mind you have to in order to grow or fulfill your life's purpose is it still worth regretting

I had such a person in my life with whom I shared the most amazing connection with but the real doozy was I'm still not sure what we were. I miss the bond we shared, long conversations about nothing and yet everything at the same time. How is it that I'm trying to find a label for something I can't quite comprehend myself? I'm not even sure I'm looking for an answer I think I'm just remembering one of the sweetest connections I've ever had.