Closure is a very funny thing to me. Just when you think you have it and all is well with the world you are slapped in the face with the reality that you apparently didn’t get as much closure after the fact as you thought. Underestimating one's emotions has proven to be a very big pain in the ass, at least for me. It's like that pesky stress rash I get on my hand when I'm totally freaking out about a test or something that has be under an enormous amount of tension. Then suddenly... you wake up and realize the only reason you don't have the closure you need is because a part of you is holding on to the past. Real bitch isn't it?
It isn't until wasn't until I finally got it through my head that I'm holding on to something that doesn't exist, more like the memory of something that once did. But now it's OVER and just like that...Aha!!... it hits me. I don’t need to hold on to it anymore, why? because it's toxic to hold on to something fictional. Don't you just love having those moments?!! This growing up thing isn't nearly easy like I thought when I used to eavesdrop on my families conversations when I was little. I thought being an adult would make something... magical happen. If I had a chance to go back and grow up again, I'd take my time and slow down. The awful thing about growing up too quickly is that you tend to not think things through as much as you probably should, thus regret things later.
So here's to closure, aha! moments, and no regrets!
