Dear Readers....

I have not fallen off the face of the earth. Since my last post I've attended orientation, registered, purchased my school books and school supplies, cut my hair (*see picture below) and managed to organize my bedroom; desk included!

Needless to say I am beyond thrilled to start my classes, I'll admit there was a while there I was afraid I wouldn't be able to start College this fall, thank God I was mistaken. I was blessed with more financial aid than I expected; enough to cover my tuition, books and school supplies. All I have left to do is go to class on Monday.

I'm feeling a little nervous but more excited than anything else, I've been dreaming of going to college for as I've known what college was and now It's my turn, finally.

I'll be taking 13 credits this semester, I'm hoping I can get all of my prerequisites taken care of in one semester but if I can't at least the majority of them.

I'll check in after my first day to fill you in on how it went. Wish me luck!

Feeling small in a big place...

Life is busy right now. I've already signed up for orientation and I'm about to register for the classes. I can't help but feel small in this huge place. College is going to be an interesting if not amazing experice, yet, I'm still nervous.

I'll write in again when i can, Thanks for the e mails and comments.

I’m getting the final paper work done for college! I’m so excited, I’ll be taking the CPT soon probably next week. I hope I get a good enough score so I don’t have to do a pre college class. That would really bumb me out.
Well until next time. I’ll be posting again when I can.

XOXO

College, Apartments, Moving, and Jobs......

Why is applying for college so freaking difficult!? I need a book or a website that says step by step what I need to do. I'm going to community college, hopefully. But the whole thing is really overwhelming me. I already did my FAFSA application yesterday, I found out I didn't need to take the ACT but since I did and my scores sucked I'm taking the CPT. Good news is it is an untimed test and it's only English, Reading, and Mathematics. Bad news I can't use a calculator in the math portion, only scratch paper. Grrrr!!.... I'm working this crap out one way or another. As far as the study guide I need to get those this month so I can turn in my application and then show up once I'm in the system or however it works. From what I can tell I'll be getting financial aid and probably some sort of grant or grants because my parents income is so small, which is a major relief.

I'm still stressing out over the job I interviewed for on Tuesday because today is when they said they'd be calling the two people who were hired. I'm kind of up in the air right now because I feel confident and then I don't. I want this job so much I can taste it. I feel the interview went very well but that doesn't always guarantee the job. It would be perfect for me too, the hours, the pay, the health insurance!

Oh and we found another apartment a few minutes away from where we live now since the one we were moving to turned out to be wrong for us. We took a look at the apartment yesterday and can you say amazing!!?? compared to the apartment we have now it's a major step up. I really want to move there, god help me!

Well I'm off, I'll post if I hear from the job.

Laters

XOXOXO


Dining room

Living Room

Master bedroom/My room with bath


Kitchen/ Laundry Room

Note to the readers....

Tonight I while watching the Oprah episode from this afternoon I decided to edit a post and to my surprise I found 4 comments from previous posts. I'm so happy to hear your feedback, while it's true I post on often about all these thoughts I have bouncing around in my head I do like the interaction with people I may or may not know. If there's one thing I've learned in the last couple of years is that we are all different in many ways but deep down we're all the same because we're all human. I want to take the time to say thank you to all of you who read my blog and took time to comment, please keep it up, I love hearing from you and it really means a lot to know that my thoughts aren't just going out into the great black hole that is the internet. Because I've gotten a few messages on MySpace asking about where they can send E-mails I've made a new one LoLuv25@live.com

Looking forward to reading more from my readers... lol ok even I had to laugh at that one : )
Before I go I wanted to mention that I am on several sites and if you like the blog please vote for it.

Laters
XOXOXO

From Pesemist to Optimist?....

I'm moving to another apartment in a few weeks, which means: packing, something I hate almost as much as moving it self.

In packing my books and old pictures I started thinking back to all of the things I've gone through while living in my room that have in one way or another shaped who I am. Made me wonder When relationships end, romantic relationships or friendships. and you have no choice but to pack your things and move on: Does it really make you stronger?

Personally I'm on the fence on that one. I used to hate change because the possibility of losing something or someone I loved just broke my heart. Now I try to look at it in a different way, more like: Change can be positive, it can bring wonderful people and experiences into your life that you never imagined.

Who knows maybe I'm turning into an optimist.

Closure and a clear mind....

Closure is in my opinion a very complicated little bitch, at least for me. There have been when I wanted to be over something or someone and I think I sort of convinced myself that I in fact had closure. But then something happens that makes whatever it is that you're in denial about smack you right in the face and knock you down on your ass. Life has a nasty little habit of doing that, doesn't it?

For years my grandmother tell me that a clutter free house (or in my case room) is a clutter free mind. I always thought she told me that because she just wanted her way in having my room clean but now I'm starting to see that she's right. I do feel like I'm thinking more clearly than I usually do. There are so many changes happening in my life right now that I really just want to be ready for them.

Funny how something so simple can change so much. I am also working on my chronic tardiness. I'm usually late but now I'm scheduling everything, I have to if I'm ever going to get anything done.

If you want to do a link exchange send your link to LoLuv25@gmail.com

On another note: I am so crazy about Music it's one of my greatest passions, With that said I wanted to share one of my favorite songs by Josh Groban February Song

Spring Cleaning My LIFE!....

Ever think back to things you did or people you were friends with and ask yourself "What the hell was I thinking?!" I'm having such a moment right now. It's just hard to believe that I have done and eww..... worn some stupid shit, and what's really a shocker is that I have so much more coming my way since I'm only 21.

This passed week I've been cleaning out my room and getting rid of all those purses, shoes, clothes and yes, books I haven't used since God knows when, It only makes sense to donate it to GoodWill so maybe someone who can actually use it will get it. I heard somewhere "you have to get rid of the old to make room for the new." and that is exactly what I'm doing. I'll admit some of it is hard to get rid of because of the things I did, places I went and people I was with while I wore them but lets just say the peasant tops I loved wearing are soo... outdated. I personally love the peasant tops but alas times have changed and they really are not nearly as in now as they were a few years back. My ex hated when I wore them, he said they made me look old. Like I fucking cared! I love those tops, fucking deal with it!... Lately (though few people know this) I've been making changes in my life that have been a long time coming.

It all started a few weeks ago when I started reading a book I've had for like over a year, maybe even two. Titled: It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt and it said something to the effect of cutting all ties with your ex at least for the time being in order for you to get over it and avoid doing something stupid like sleeping with him or clinging to the memory of your now dead and buried relationship. This made me realize I never actually did that on my terms, see when my ex dumped me (Yes, I was the dump-ee not the dump-er, I am woman enough to admit it.) we didn't speak for almost a year. After that time we E-mailed and talked over the phone, eventually we got together and yes, had sex. (I wanted sex badly!) But shortly after that I realized I was starting to think of him like I did before (pre-breakup) which was so not good, and unfortunately this also brings up the whole "Why is it easier for men to separate sex and love?" I of course kept this to myself because I, along with my friends know he's not good for me. But this is nether here nor there. Back to my "Aha!" moment; I decided if I was ever going to let go of all the baggage from my past (passed relationships included) I would have to do it on my terms and so begun the spring cleaning of my life.

I know to some people this may seem childish and perhaps idiotic but I know this was what I needed to move on. If I ever hope to (and I do.) have a healthy relationship with a man I need to cut this at the seem. Will I ever be able to have a friendship with him like I did before I am not sure, but I very much doubt that will happen. For now I'm making the changes in my life for the better and more importantly for me.

Lets face it in life you don't only make your choices but your choices make you.

Until next time readers....

Love L

Bitter Sweet Changes.....

Earlier today I started thinking about endings, and I'm not specifically talking about books or movies. I'm talking about endings in life, when you leave a job whether by choice or lack there of. Changing cities, boyfriends and so on...

I've never been a person who really loved changes and I think that's one of the things that are strange about how I work, I like structure but I also like spontaneity. I've had so many friends tell me how I never do anything without planning the hell out of it. Which I'll admit is usually the case but not as often as it used to be. Could it be that among all the changes happening in my life right now I'm also evolving into a slightly less plan-oriented person? Letting go of the old is really easier said than done in a lot of cases. Change, I'll admit it's not something I'm always happy to see but a lot of times I am.

My thing with change is not (always) really a fear of the unknown but giving up something I care about. Like graduating for example; I am so thrilled to be done with it but at the same time I will admit I am going to miss my teachers, the members of the S.A.B. Alisha (even though we talk almost everyday) and so many other things. It's a bitter-sweet ending to that chapter... Kind of like the ending of The Notebook, you're glad they were together but sad as to how it ended at the same time. Why is it change comes more easily for some than it does for others? I'm working on the whole be an "adult" thing, not really all that fun. There's so much to learn and I've lived a very sheltered and yes spoiled life. There are things I never learned to do because.. well.. I never really needed to learn them. Like yesterday I filed taxes for the first time in my life, I don't really know much about taxes except that I have no choice but to pay them. But to me little things like that are victories, small granted but victories none the less.

I think I'll get the hang of this adult thing eventually but for now I'm really just so excited about the things happening right now in my life; the fact that I'm taking the ACT test on April 12th (yes I'm excited about a test) and after that I can send in my applications for college for this fall, I honestly can't wait!!

I guess it's true what they say "When one door closes another one opens"